Quick, charge up the defribillator to 2 peaceful nights of Shoelace staying with his uncle in Spain.
Increase the charge to 4 nights without Shoelace worries.
Right, take it all the way up to 6 nights.
Oh doctor, are you sure? Think of the side effects.
Just do it. We’ve got no choice if we are ever going to get Mojo back.
Beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep.
Mojo is alive!
But still very weak. We shall have to take great care over the next few weeks.
I prescribe one bowl of oats to be taken every morning.
Increase water therapy to a minimum of 2kms swimming weekly.
Book a therapeutic weekend away with Fat Fella in a beautiful 14th century inn. This must include bracing walks, breath-taking scenery, delicious dinners and a substantial amount of good wine. Maybe a bit of shopping.
Where am I going wrong, I ask myself? We had a great holiday right up until the last few days when poor old Fat Fella managed to pick up a mystery infection and ended up in hospital on IV antibiotics. And just so he didn’t get all the sympathy and attention, I also acquired a chest and ear infection and, frankly, have been feeling really crappy since we got home.
What’s that all about? Holidays are supposed to be stress-free times, where we sleep and rest and eat well and are generally chilled and happy. The precise recipe for good health surely? So what’s with all this infection stuff? We were staying in a perfectly clean, very comfortable villa. We feasted on marvellous fresh fruit and vegetables and seafood. I spent most of my time floating in the pool or the sea. My immune system should have been in tip-top condition. So what is the point of all this healthy eating when I am not, in fact, getting healthier?
Yesterday, I had to take my son for a routine visit to the GP. They had one of those fancy take-your-own blood pressure machines in the waiting room, so I stuck my arm in and pressed “Start”. Well, that was a mistake. According to the reading, I should probably be dead already. There certainly had been no improvement as a result of my so-called healthier lifestyle. I have to say I am very close to packing the whole thing in. But what’s the alternative? Complete hedonism? That’s not going to help, is it?
Boring as it is, I think I may need to do a bit of proper research on the subject, and not just read random internet articles, which is how I have been gleaning most of my information thus far. I specifically want to tackle the whole infection thing and find a way of boosting my immune system as it is obviously up the creek at the moment. I’ll let you know what I find out.