2: Delusions

I have this “big” friend who insists that she doesn’t eat that much and that she eats fairly healthy food. At times I have tried to gently explore with her what she actually eats to show her that it is, in fact, quite a lot, and at other times I just let it go by, but I always think to myself: “Who is she kidding? You can’t be that fat without eating too much.” Obviously, I think she is deluded. But what about me? Until very recently I would solemnly tell you that I am fat because I eat too much, but that my basic diet was essentially healthy. Outrageous delusion! A basic diet that includes several bottles of wine and a tub of Haagen Dasz every week is not “essentially healthy” in anyone’s book.

I managed to get away with this smug little delusion because up until now I have generally enjoyed good health. Routine blood tests have always come back showing that my liver and kidney function is fine, I don’t have diabetes, and my cholesterol levels are acceptable. I have a very skinny sister who has high cholesterol levels and I am ashamed to confess that I have often secretly smirked to myself that the big fat sister has the healthier blood. Well, not anymore. Last week, I got a pretty stiff talking to by my doctor as my cholesterol levels are now way too high.

I was a bit surprised by this. Not only because of my “essentially healthy” basic diet, but because a year ago I actually gave up eating meat. Isn’t it sod’s law that my cholesterol level would go up just as I took such a virtuous step? Another sad delusion, of course. It has nothing to do with sod’s or anyone else’s bad luck law, and everything to do with the fact that I basically swapped lean meat for as much cheese, butter and cream as I could stuff into my fat little mouth. Not to mention the carte blanche I gave myself to eat lots and lots of eggs and to fry and roast vegetables to make them more tasty and thus make up for the fact that I was missing out on meat.

Fortunately for me, when discussing this situation with my husband, he said something that has almost guaranteed that I will successfully take action on this. I was explaining that I had asked the doctor to give me three months to try and bring down my cholesterol levels by improving my diet instead of starting on medication. My husband, rather knowingly said, “I bet she (the doctor) thinks that hardly anyone manages to lower cholesterol by changing their lifestyle and she is just biding her time before putting you on medication and thus solving the problem quite easily.” I am a very curmudgeonly person and telling me I can’t do something is a brilliant way of getting me to do it. Now I am feeling really inspired and absolutely determined to prove him and the doctor wrong.

I’ve googled “cholesterol lowering foods” and have started to add these into my diet. In fact, for once my “essentially healthy” diet delusion is a reality as I am reducing dairy and salt, in addition to foregoing the Four Esses — sugar, snacks, seconds and sauce (aka booze).

Of course, the danger is that delusion’s best friend “cheating” is also lurking around. I have caught myself wondering if I could maybe have the blood test before I go on holiday (it is scheduled for right afterwards) because, as I mentioned in my previous blog I fully intend to have a wonderfully indulgent time on holiday.

I wonder how I am going to get myself back on track after that holiday? Past experience shows that I will go a bit mad, especially if I have managed to lose a bit of weight. Before I know it, I will be back to my bad old ways. I am putting an enormous amount of faith in this blog to keep me on the straight and narrow. I am secretly very keen on impressing other people and not disappointing them, so if I achieve any sort of audience for this blog, I’ll be able to use it to put the necessary pressure on myself to exceed expectations. Who knows? It might actually work. So far, (granted 2 weeks is not very far at all), the stats are encouraging. Here they are:

Stats

• Week two: 20 May 2019 – minus 1.5kg
• Total weight loss: 2.5kg (5.5lbs)